Make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you.Know your worth even if they don't. 

 

If You Don't Remember Anything Else ~ Remember This : Your Body Never Lies 

Anytime you are convinced a narcissist has won in your life, just remember they chose you for a reason - because you're a good person - a person of value. They choose a person they have a hard time being, a narcissist only wants to destroy something they know they can never become. The most important thing to remember is narcissists only want to destroy people they are envious of, the only reason they were ever attracted to you is because you have qualities that they don't and never will, so they hate you for it. You will notice when you are with a narcissist almost everything in your life is opposite (they get with people they hate instead of love) they are the biggest hypocrite you will ever meet ! The following are things a narcissist will try their best to take from you or destroy because they are jealous and believe if they don't have it then you shouldn't either- your job,your car, your home, the way you smile, the fact that you have family & friends that care about you, the fact that you are a positive person, anything AT ALL that is good about you, irks them, they are only happy when you are miserable. It is their ultimate goal to get you to your lowest. They try to destroy any good so they can get the satisfaction to tell their wicked heart that you are no better than them. They want you hollow, and will do everything imaginable to make you an empty shell. Hate, envy, jealousy, and destruction, go hand in hand.

An Example Of How A Narcissist Might Shift Blame To Your Reaction Rather Than Take Responsibility For Their Behavior

Don't let yourself feel like you are going crazy, or that you over reacted, you should be able to openly and freely discuss how a person makes you feel.They don't want to accept accountability so they will turn the tables on you, making you the perpetrator and themselves the victim.

 

You’ve been working long hours and managing most of the household chores. One evening, you come home exhausted and ask the narcissist (let’s say it’s your partner) for help cleaning up after dinner. They ignore your request and continue watching TV. After days of this pattern, you get frustrated and raise your voice, saying, “Why don’t you ever help? I’m doing everything alone!”

 

Narcissist’s Response:

 

Instead of acknowledging that they haven’t been helping, the narcissist responds with, “Why are you yelling at me? You always overreact! You’re so negative and make everything into a big deal.”

 

In this scenario:

 

   •   Your reaction (frustration) is being magnified and used against you.

   •   The narcissist avoids the real issue (their lack of help) by making you feel like your emotional response is the problem.

   •   They invalidate your feelings and flip the conversation so you end up defending your reaction, instead of discussing why they aren’t helping.

 

This pattern makes it harder to address the real issue because the focus is now on how you acted, not what caused the situation in the first place.

 

(Narcissist love games, the more confused you are, the more powerful they feel, It's hard especially when it never took much to confuse a person like me to begin with, I get it, but put your focus on the reason why you brought the problem up to begin with, I have even went as far as writing it in my notes on my phone, before I even brought it up)

A Person With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Lacks Empathy, They Rarely Ever / If At All, Experience Guilt Or Remorse
  • a narcissist will never self reflect, they never developed self awareness. 

 

  • They mask their weaknesses with superiority, entitlement, inflated egos, superficiality, manipulation,& arrogance.

 

  • They are unable to see things from anyone else's point of view and lack consideration & compassion for others because this would be considered a weakness to them.

 

  • Narcissists do not have the ability nor the desire to self reflect or take any responsibility. They cannot and will not see anything wrong with what they do,and they only see fault in your reaction. They believe every argument is caused by you, because to them, there was no problems with their actions until you reacted to them. They 100% believe you are the problem and they are the victim.

 

  • When a narcissist mask falls off....you will feel as if your world is spinning and everything you thought you knew about this person is the complete opposite. They are the biggest hypocrite's you will ever encounter.

 

  • A normal person doesn't have primal urges to manipulate people, see people in pain, or enjoy exploiting others like a narcissist does. 

Some Of The Conditions That Can Be Caused From Narcissistic Abuse
  • thinking people are mad at you all of the time
  • severe confusion
  • frequent apologizing
  • vertigo
  • hypervigilant
  • brain fog
  • hear every sound
  • c.o.p.d.
  • sensitive to other people's energies
  • rheumatoid arthritis
  • desensitized to bad behavior
  • osteoarthritis
  • losing hair
  • gaining weight
  • insomnia
  • depression
  • persistent uti's
  • anxiety
  • restless leg syndrome
  • heart palpitations
  • chronic fatigue
  • digestive issues
  • lower back & neck issues
  • inflammation throughout your body
  • extreme issues with your vagus nerve
  • autoimmune disorders
  • jaw clenching

Things That Make A Narcissist Stand Out

 

  • they are all big meat eaters

 

  • you can clean, spray insecticides, no matter what anyone does, they all have roaches and rats that are hard as hell to get rid of  (if you even can)

 

  • they make "noises" while they eat, clean (which is very rare), or having to do any physical activity - they make loud grunts, sighs, because they want to be acknowledged for what they are doing (which everyone around them knows they half ass everything they do - you might as well do it yourself)

 

  • they ALL act entitled, expecting you to do for them what they would NEVER do for you

 

  • they ALL steal from any & everyone (family or not) 

 

  • narcissist see people like objects, like furniture..they are the only ones who think people are dispensable, which is probably the reason they are incapable of loving their own children 

 

  • you will never feel appreciated, they will make you feel as if you are never enough, you can be the only one who helped them when they were at their lowest, they will never give you credit for anything you do. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO A NARCISSIST IS MAKING YOU DO ALL THE WORK, MAKE ALL THE SACRIFICES, AND THEY TAKE ALL THE CREDIT, NEVER ACKNOWLEDGING OR EXPRESSING GENIUNE APPRECIATION FOR ANYTHING YOU DO FOR THEM.  

 

  • they have NO MANNERS at all - it seems like words of any praise at all are not in their vocabulary

 

  • in my opinion, if you want to tell if you are dealing with a true narcissist, because the ones I have met, do apologize. Ask them what they are sorry for. Sincere apologies require accountability. They will tell you they are sorry and if the reason behind the "apology" is brought up again, watch how they blow up, claim all you do is complain, refuse to talk about it, or say nothing they do is good enough for you. (Normal people) know when people keep complaining about the same thing over and over it's for a reason, that reason being they are looking for a solution to the problem. They want to fix what is wrong. Normal people who aren't looking to manipulate or exploit every person in their life know when you make a mistake and apologize for it, you self reflect so that you learn from it. They realize that making the same mistake over and over again is no longer a mistake, but a choice.   

What Validation From Parents / Validation From A Spouse Actually Means

Validation from parents and validation from a spouse are both ways to show that you care about someone and understand their feelings: 

Validation from parents
Validating a child means acknowledging and accepting their feelings, thoughts, and experiences without judgment. It can help children feel heard, understood, and accepted. Validation can also help children develop the ability to handle intense emotions. 
 
Validation from a spouse
Validating a partner means affirming, recognizing, and accepting their feelings. It can help create a feeling of safety and trust. Some ways to validate a partner include: 
  • Listening to understand how they are feeling 
  • Empathizing with their emotions
  • Normalizing their feelings
  • Touching them

Validation is a communication skill that can help both parties in a conversation feel heard and understood. It can also help people feel more open to the opinions of others.

Superiority

Superiority is the quality of being better than something or someone else

Entitled

feeling that you have the right to do or have what you want, without having to work for it or deserve it, just because of who you are

Examples Of Manipulation

They try to make you feel guilty. A manipulator can skew any situation to make themselves the victim. Or they might remind you of times they've helped you out, making it seem like you owe them.

They encourage you to doubt yourself. If you're repeatedly told that you can't do something or don't understand, you may start to believe it. Manipulators often use this technique to get you to stop doing something. 

They complain. Getting angry, especially in front of others, is a way to coerce you into doing what they want. They're betting that you want to quickly end the conflict, especially if they're making a scene.

They compare you to others. By pointing out what someone else has achieved, a manipulator is really pointing out your shortcomings. It's a way to make you feel "less than," although they may insist they're trying to motivate you.

They charm you. Not all manipulative behavior comes across as negative. Some manipulators may shower you with compliments and praise to build your trust. That way, you're more likely to do what they want.

They give ultimatums. In some cases, a manipulator will make threats to get their way. For instance, they may threaten to move out of your house, quit their job, or even harm themselves.

Triggers

When you are at your highest, celebrating success they will bring up something they are well aware that hurts you, something traumatizing, an insecurity you've made them aware of, they intentionally trigger you so you become despondent. When you feel sad they feel more superior and can easily manipulate you to suit their needs.

Triggers for a narcissist:

  • Criticism
  • Rejection
  • Failure
  • Betrayal
  • Inferiority
  • Not getting what they want
  • Being held accountable for their actions
  • Ignoring their accomplishments
  • Being exposed for who they really are, seeing through their facade, realizing they are not special or important as they think they are.

Infantilize

Narcissists infantilize their child/children to maintain power & control to be able to manipulate them from becoming a functional adult - the narcissist ego can't take a child exceeding what they achieved in  life. They intentionally do not teach their kids basic everyday life skills, they want to keep their kids immature, not having any responsibilities so they can manipulate & control them.They don't teach their child how to drive or pump gas, how to pay bills or be independent. They do this because they feel they have something to gain from the child. Once they get what they want, the child will be discarded

Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist

  • you are very self critical
  • violate your own boundaries to people please
  • manipulate yourself into becoming what people want from you
  • you are being hard on yourself, not empathizing with your own feelings, instead judging yourself for having those feelings

Which makes you the perfect target for the narcissist, you are not going to require that they be nice to you, they are allowed to be cruel / mean, you will be easy for them to manipulate, they will "punish" you, violate your boundaries, & they will never empathize with you.

With your conscious mind you know better, you know something isn't right, but you are in such a state of confusion from enduring such traumatizing abuse that is familiar to you, it creates a trauma bond, you feel stuck or trapped, wanting to believe the abuser is a good person. Trauma bonds occur when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse which fuels a need for validation and love. 

Which is why it is important to not people please because you are showing them they can manipulate you, have healthy boundaries in place and stick to them, validate the way you feel and allow yourself to heal while having compassion. 

Trauma Bonds 

  • you feel suffocated
  • you can't be yourself around them
  • you rarely feel heard or seen
  • you've lost friends
  • walking on eggshells
  • justifying their behavior
  • loss of self esteem
  • isolated from any support system
  • obsessive thinking
  • fear of abandonment
  • over explaining yourself
  • believing deep down the abuser is a good person

Heal through the foods you eat or you can try the supplements / vitamins

 

Omega-3 fatty acids: Found in fatty fish like salmon, walnuts, chia seeds, may help improve mood and cognitive function. 

{lowers blood pressure, reduces triglycerides in the blood, helps reduce joint inflammation in rheumatoid disease, helps nourish brain & eye function, helps prevent and alleviate dementia, depression, asthma, migraine, and diabetes}

https://www.medparkhospital.com/en-US/lifestyles/omega-3-health-benefits-of-nutrition

 

Probiotics: Yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, can support gut health which is linked to mental well-being. 

{support mental health through gut-brain axis which means that the bacteria in your gut can influence your mood and stress levels, potentially reducing feelings of anxiety and depression that might arise from narcissistic abuse by promoting a healthier gut}

 

Complex B vitamins: Found in whole grains, legumes, eggs, can help manage stress and anxiety. 

 {enables the release of energy through metabolism and supports nervous system, also useful for sleep disturbances, irritability,fatigue,anemia,mental health symptoms, & dermatitis} 

https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/vitamin-b-complex#faq

 

Vitamin C: Found in citrus fruits, bell peppers,potatoes,tomatoes,cabbage,brussel sprouts, broccoli, & spinach can support immune function and stress resilience.

{boost your immune system,acts as an antioxidant to combat stress on your body & potentially improving your mood by supporting the production of neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, which can help with energy and alertness}

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